If you are wishing to pursue a stepparent adoption case, due to a parent being unfit, but still have to have some sort of contact with the unfit parent, you can use those opportunities, when you are near the unfit parent, to gather the evidence that you need in order to help win your case of stepparent adoption.

For instance, if the unfit parent tends to be confrontational during the exchange of the child, or children, try meeting in a public place. Not only is it neutral ground, but you will also have plenty of witnesses around as well to watch whatever happens, which tends to keep people more rational. Some families exchange their child, or children, in the parking lot of a local police station, to remind each other to stay calm, and act like adults.

If you have a parent who is unwilling to meet at the police station, try to bring, or to have a witness with you who can videotape the exchange from the car, or from inside of the house, looking out a nearby window. Be sure to crack either the car or house window open, so that you will also be able to hear, as well as see what is going on. By documenting with a video camera you will be able to prove without a doubt, if the unfit parent shows up late, fails to show, or perhaps shows up in an unfit state to parent, such as drunk or high on drugs, you will have the entire event on camera as evidence. Be sure to have the time and date display function turned on prior to the exchange of the child. Having everything all set prior to the exchange will make it easier to capture events as they unfold, if they happen very quickly after the unfit parent arrives. If it is possible, bring, or have, the same witness with you every time you exchange the child, as well as the video camera. Be sure to label the tapes the day that they are made, so that you are not stuck with mislabeled, or blank tapes. If nothing else the presence of the camera may serve as enough of a reminder for the other parent to behave him or herself during the exchange of the child.

If you have, or believe that you will have, many tapes as evidence, try to keep a written log that corresponds with the videotapes and summarizes what events took place. This gives the judge a chance to read through the log, and then decide which tapes to watch, instead of sitting through hours of "no show" footage, or deciding right off that he or she does not wish to sit through hours of footage. This way the judge can see the history and patterns that the unfit parent has created for him or herself, as well as see whatever selected footage of some of the actual events concerning the unfit parent, that he or she chooses.

Exapmle Of Written Log

Tape 1
01/01/06 parent showed up three hours late to get child, child was asleep by the time the parent arrived. Parent yelled and screamed, kicking the front door, then leaving
01/07/06 parent does not show up to get the child.
01/14/06 parent shows up drunk, and in no condition to drive. Visitation was refused. Parent becomes enraged, and police are called

Tape 2
02/01/06 Parent fails to show for visit with the child
02/07/06 Parent fails to show for visitation with the child
02/14/06 Parent show up drunk and is arrested by police on front lawn

By gathering belligerent, and or unsafe behavior of the unfit parent on video, the chances for a successful contested stepparent adoption to go in your favor, will greatly increase. Such evidence is referred to as “hard evidence,” as it removes the “he said,” “she said,” from the situation giving the courts an exact account of what has occurred. While courts are often hesitant to sever the biological ties of a parent and child, if the parent is willing to maintain a relationship with the child being able to actually see the unfit parent in his or her true day to day state, when he or she is not all made up for court, can relieve them of the burden of such hesitance.