When School Performance Slumps

My adopted stepson is a genius. I know that all parents think that their child is surely the most gifted being on the planet, but really, he’s been tested several times, and scores in the genius area every single time. For the standardized testing in the public school system he scores in the 99th percentile, and has done so ever since he began school. He is incredibly bright. He can retain facts like you would not believe. He knows more about science and history than I could ever hope to learn. He can read over something once, and retain it for life. It truly is amazing, which is why it is so utterly frustrating when he comes home with poor grades, let alone the hiding of them and lying about them.

Earlier this year he was doing wonderfully in school, he brought home a glowing report card, which we joyously celebrated by buying him his very own cell phone as well as a family dinner of his choice. He was thrilled to have the phone, a symbol of adulthood in his eyes, and we were thrilled to see how well he was handling the responsibility of high school and growing up. Sadly it turns out that he was in way over his head, yet instead of asking for help, he hid his troubles until it was too late to fix them. He had let his grades slip tremendously.

He hid one report card, and with the bustle of the holidays, family flying in and out, when he said it would come after the holidays, we believed, and soon lost in the holidays and family it slipped our minds. He had worked it perfectly and the poor report card was never seen. Not until the last report card came out that is. Each report card has the previous quarters grades listed on it, so once the new one came out we were able to see the last quarters grades. After realizing that we had not seen a report card in quite some time, we looked on the school’s website and wrote down which day the next report was coming out, so that we would be sure to remember and not let another mishap slide by.

The Friday before report cards were due to come out, my adopted stepson stayed home from school with a stomachache. It did of course magically clear up just about the time school ended, amazing I know. Knowing that report cards were coming up on Monday, we had our suspicions that things were not going to go so well if he was stressing enough to start missing school. Monday came and once he came home from school there was no mention of the report card, he did his best to hurry upstairs, until I asked for the card, and reluctantly after a few moments he handed it over.

We were shocked to see that he had gotten several C’s, D’s as well, but the kicker was an F in the previous quarter, and well as one for the present quarter. How could this happen? He had been doing so well, he had seemed so on top of things. We sat him down and after some talking he admitted that he simply didn’t do the work that was assigned. At first he tried to lie and say that he had done the work, but lost it somewhere between home and school, but after we explored that theory a little more closely he gave up and admitted that the work had never been done. We will be working closely with both him and his teachers in order to stay on top of his work and his grades. Currently it is his spring break and he is spending it with no computer, no cell phone, and no vacations.

It is very frustrating when we know that he is not only capable of doing the work, but he is so smart that it wouldn’t take him long at all to get it completed! We are still looking for the underlying issue when it comes to his lack of motivation, and personal responsibility. It is a hard call for our family as to if we should be involved in his school work, now that he is in high school, or if we should sit back and allow him to get poor grades, reap what he sows and deal with the consequences of poor high school performance. Natural consequences, right? Yet then there is college, how can one get into a good college with poor grades?

How do you deal with children who refuse to live up to their potential? What do you do when your child has not a care in the world and feels that life shall be an easy ride somehow? What happens in your household when a child fails a class?

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