My mom will be watching my little one for the next few days, which will not only give me a nice break to have some ‘me’ time, and to get the house really cleaned up, but it will also give me some much needed quality time to spend with my adopted stepson. Being the oldest child, he has to wait for a lot of things, as his younger brother still needs most things done for him, and the oldest is usually expected to wait his turn, to be old enough to know, or know better all of the time.

I was the youngest growing up, so I have no personal experience when it comes to being the oldest, but I am sure that it gets old always having to be the bigger person so to speak (no pun intended) and put the little one first since he is still little and still learning. Especially since my adopted stepson is emotionally much younger than his chronological age of fifteen, I am sure that it is hard for him to ‘know better’ when there are still a lot of things emotionally that at fifteen he should know, but truly is still learning himself. It can be hard for both my husband and myself to remember that our oldest still has some catching up to do in many areas, especially since he is so advanced in several others, and at times we may tend to expect more out of him than he is capable of.


So this week, while the little guy is living it up at grandma’s house, I will be doing my best to focus on my relationship with my adopted stepson, and to spend some quality one on one time with him to rebuild our relationship, and help to make it stronger. Over the years he has tested me to the absolute max, to see if I too will bail out on him, just as his birth mother did, and at times it has taken a severe toll on our relationship. I admit that I have backed off, and it has cost us some of the closeness that we used to share between one and other. While I know that it will take time to repair the damage, I am hopeful that this week will be a good start in rebuilding what we have lost.

He has also been very daddy focused lately, which is great since in the past their relationship has been a strained one, and he is at the age now where it is important for him to be close with a strong male role model, but on the other hand, I have begun to feel quite left out, and know that if I wish to feel included it is up to me to put myself out there and get involved. So that is the plan. While I am not yet sure what we will be doing, I am going to make a point to do something special with him each day that the little one is out of the house so that my adopted stepson can feel as though he is an important person in my life, instead of just hearing it. I think that he is longing for some one on one time, but is just not sure how to ask for it. Traditionally, he tends to act out when he is looking for some special time with either myself or my husband, and while he is not acting out at the moment, he does seem to be more reserved than usual, and just seems as though something is missing, and I believe it is the relationship that we used to share with one and other.

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So wish me luck, and if anyone has any ideas on what activities I can do with a teenage boy that doesn’t cost too much money, as like most families these days we are on a tight budget, feel free to leave me a comment and let me know! We do have a mini golf place near by that I have my eye on, and I am sure that we could always play his beloved video games, but I am always looking for new ideas!