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Three years ago today a judge sitting in his chambers finally put his signature on a stack of papers that had been sitting in his inbox for more than a week. Of course for the better part of that time, the judge had been on vacation, so I suppose in hindsight I could cut him some slack for taking his sweet time in finalizing our adoption!
Roughly three times a day, for roughly two weeks my voice was a fixture over the phone lines at our local courthouse, desperately wanting to know if he (the judge) had put his signature at the bottom of our paperwork, making our adoption official, all of the woman who worked at the office had come to know my voice, and after a few days I no longer had to introduce myself before they would politely tell me that he still had not signed our paperwork and brought it out of his office to be filed.
Then finally, three days after he had actually signed them, he brought them out of his office, and after the woman got back on the line after putting me on hold so that she could check ‘one last time’ for me, she excitedly told me the good news, congratulated me, and hung up, most likely relieved that I would no longer be calling and bugging them every few hours of the day. Seriously I was a pain. I knew our case number by heart, the judge’s name, every office employee’s name, the courthouse phone line numbers, all three of them, the department extensions, you name it, I memorized it!
Tonight we celebrated our Forever Family Day, by having a relaxing family dinner of pizza in front of the television while engrossed in the Disney movie, Meet The Robinsons. It was a cute movie, and both boys seemed to enjoy it. It definitely wasn’t Disney’s best movie, but it was cute nonetheless. We had originally planned on going out to dinner this evening, but the cold, driving wind persuaded us to stay inside and let dinner come to us.
It’s been a great day, and we had a lot of fun sitting together as a family and watching a movie. We usually do not eat with the TV on, so getting to sit downstairs in mommy and daddy’s room eating pizza AND watching a movie was just pure heaven for the kids! Now they are quietly munching on their special cookies that daddy picked up for them before heading off to bed, and I have a moment to steal away for myself and reflect on how lucky I am to have such wonderful kids, and that I am truly blessed to be able to be a mom to both of them!
I’m about to get married to a man who has two amazing children. He has full custody of the children. Their birth-mother is supposed to be paying child support, but has not paid a dime. She also has not seen them in at least 3 years. When we get married I want to adopt them. Do you recommend using a lawyer? If no are their any do-it-yourself resources that you recommend? I would like to try and do it without a lawyer. Thanks…any advice is welcome.
Elisabethgrace-Tomorrow I will be adopting my step sons that i have raised for five years as their only mother figure. It’s not as difficult as it seems, we did get a lawyer but abandonment laws are pretty strict in AZ and 6 months with no contact is considered abandonement, even if the birth mother was to protest the adoption , it is almost certain that she would would have her rights severed. She would have to have had a great excuse to as why she hasn’t seen her children in three years, like being kidnapped or something extraodinary that kept her from them. Which I am sure isn’t the case.
good luck to you and if you have any questions contact me!
i read on here that AZ laws state that 6 months with no contact is child abandonment, well does anyone know about missouri laws? i have a husband who would like to adopt my first child in which her biological father has not contacted her in 10 months and counting, will the state of missouri revoke his parental rights so that we can legally adopt?
julie, if you are online do you have any answers for me?
Do I ever remember that day. All of the hard work, getting the biological father to sign over his rights (what a fight), completing the papers, neverending calls to the lawyer. Then the day had finally came and the judge was behind so we waited outside for hours! We were so relieved when it was over, and it was all worth it!
Lori
I am looking for some encouragement! I have been married to the man that has served a father figure to my 8 year old son since he was 3 weeks old for a year now. We have asked the biological father to sign the consent for adoption and he will not return my phone calls now. He has never paid child support or contacted us. He has always known where my mom lived anmd his mom has known nwhere I worked. I have spoken with my lawyer and have filed a petition in the court and he will be served this week for abandonment. I am so scared that things are going to drag on and on. Anyone have any advice?
When I married my husband 10 yrs ago, he wanted to adopt my 3 kids right away,sence my kids didn wanted any contact to there abussive father, i would not let them talk, to young anyway, I got him to sign the parental papers , by telling him,hey u dont have to pay 1500 a month if u sign ,and u will not see them anyway, it worked he sign and 2 month later the adoption was done. and I dont have to worry about that man anymore.
Question , does anybody knows how I get new Birthcert, for my kids?
Ex took them all.were in Texas
my husband and i live in california and we would like to know how we can go about him adpoting my son…we heard it can be done by a paraleagal…is this true??? we can not afford to hire an attorney…my sons biological father has been in and out of prison most of his adult life and the last i heard he was deported out of the country…how would this work? can anyone help????
LadyT… You will have to go to your local health and Human Services Dept and file for a birth cert… Most likely will cost you at least $12 if not more…
Mesc… http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/family/adoption/stepadoptqna-1.htm Hope this helps…
Julie… Congrats!
I remember this feeling, 18 years ago I was doing the same thing, I remember how anxious I was and how much love I had in my heart for this little beautiful girl. Wow now it has been 18 years, a divorce, and me being a single mother for 14 years. Now I am alone as she is with her father and biological mother, yes you heaard it right her biological father and biological mother are together and they have my baby, who is having a baby and Im completely cut out, how does this happen, who does this? I miss her, I love her and I would die for her but I done my job and now they get the rewards.
I need help, and I am not even sure where to begin. I was a single mother for 9 years, but I am now married to a wonderful man for a year and a half. We have been together for 3 years, and he has taken on the roll as father! I have never received child supporr, and my son’s biological father has NEVER had any contact with him. My husband wants to adopt my son. Does anyone now if I am going to have to get the biological father’s consent? We have not contacted a lawyer yet because we are not even sure where to begin! Thanks for any advice!!