Yesterday, I shared with all of you how my adopted stepson, now in his teen years, had finally been assigned the family tree project in school, as well as my dismay over how and why a teacher would choose the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas to assign such a task.

I drove up to his school late this morning, just before lunch time, and took a minute to speak with his guidance counselor about family tree projects, and how they can cause some emotional upheaval for children living in any type of non-tradtional family setting. Children of divorce have loss in their family, children whom have experienced the death of a parent, have loss, and children whom have been adopted all have experienced a great loss of family in their lives, and the holiday season is not the best time to begin stirring up even more memories of special people whom are no longer in their lives, regardless of how brief their time together was.

The counselor sat listening intently as I explained these adoption related issues to her, her eyes getting wider by the moment as she slowly nodded while I spoke. She instantly agreed that the holidays were certainly not the time to have the children work on such a project, as well as to my query as to if this project was in fact too emotionally difficult for him to do, could he perhaps, do something else in lieu of it?

During our talk she gave me the email address of the teach whom had assigned the project, and encouraged me to email her, not only to discuss the options my adopted stepson had for alternative projects, but to discuss adoption issues with her as well, so that the project would not be assigned again during this time of the year, and said that she was going to speak with a few other teachers who also assign the family tree project to their students.

As luck would have it, after spending all of that time 'enlightening' the school staff about how the holidays can be emotionally draining on adoptee's and how certain projects, and assignments can only compound the demons that the child is facing during what should be the happiest time of the year, my adopted stepson decided this evening that he would do the poster, and that he was fine with it as long as it only included his father's side and his adoptive family on my side. We told him that it was his project and he could do it however he wanted, and I quite proud of him for deciding to stand up and face his emotions, and do the project, even though I did go through all of that trouble this morning to make sure that he had an out if he needed one!

Now it's time to actually make the tree!