When you first begin your adoption journey, you may be surprised to find out that there are people out there who do not agree with adoption. Some of these people may be strangers that you meet in day-to-day life, and some may very well be your friends, or even family members, people whom you have known for years, but never knew that they had such strong feelings against adoption.

During our adoption journey, we were lucky enough in the fact that both of our families were completely accepting, and thrilled about the impending adoption. Some of our friends at the time, however, were slightly less thrilled with the idea. A few seemed puzzled about the whole situation, not understanding how my stepson’s biological mother could just walk out of his life, and figured that we should continue to put our own lives on hold, waiting for her to resurface, get her life and priorities in order, and get back in contact with her son. Even after the year and a half wait that we went through after no contact had been made, still unable to wrap their brains around a parent abandoning their child, they still thought, that any day we would hear from his mother, and the world would once again go back to being a happy, and loving place.

Other friends of ours just didn’t agree with the adoption altogether. They were not against adoption completely, but only saw adoption as an answer for orphans, children who had no parents at all. As they saw it my stepson still had a legal parent, and there simply was no need for me to adopt him. It was actually quite interesting to see so many different opinions and view points on one issue, and for a time our family was quite the spotlight and I am sure that we were a hot topic around the dinner table for quite a few families.

With the adoption process being as nerve wracking as it is all on its own, having others breathing down your neck trying to sway your mind one way or another doesn’t make it any easier. Some people will give you’re their opinion and then let the topic go, satisfied that they have said their peace. Other people, however, just can’t seem to let something go until they have successfully forced their opinion down the throats of others so far, that they have no choice but to swallow them or choke! Defending yourself or your situation does nothing more than give these particular types of people more drive to win you over to their side, which of course is the correct side in their eyes.

So what do you do when you are beginning your adoption, and people start to share their own opinions on what it is that you are doing with your life? You listen, you take what they have to say with a grain of salt, and if they are truly insistent on not supporting you, you find other people to share your adoption journey with. This does not mean that you have to cut friends and family out of your life forever, although in some cases families have had to do so, you just don’t share your adoption journey with them. Focus your attention on those who are willing to support you, your family, and your decisions.

When you surround yourself with positive people when times get rough or scary not only during your adoption, but after the fact if and when new issues arise, you are building a support system that you can lean on when you are down, and not subjecting yourself to those who would jump at the chance to chime in and kick you when you are down, trying to prove that they were right, simply because you are not floating on rainbows and sunshine throughout the entire process. Very few adoptions run smoothly from beginning to end, and even the ones that do are nerve wracking enough to get through without having to listen to others try to tell you how to live your life.

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