My adopted stepson had a wonderful first day of tenth grade yesterday! He was frustrated by the fact that in each and every class they went over the rules of the school, which means they were drilled into his head seven times yesterday, but other than that, his day went well. So far he has a good feeling about all of his teachers, and is coming to terms with the fact that his least favorite subject, English, is his first period of the day. We have told him that at least he can get it out of the way early on in the day, and not have to stress about it all day long, and that seems to have helped him to get over the initial pang of dread that he was feeling towards having English first thing in the morning. Of course as a person who loved English in school, and enjoys to write more than just about everything, having your oldest child absolutely despise what you love is a little bit of a downer! The kicker is that the boy can write amazingly well when he actually sits down and puts his mind to it, he simply rarely has the desire to do so!

This will also be his first year in the AFROTC program, which is the Air Force's version of the ROTC, or Reserve Officers' Training Corps. His father was an Air Force man, and over these past few years as my adopted stepson has been growing and changing into such a wonderful young man, he has been thinking about joining the military and following in his father's footsteps more and more. He hasn't quite figured out what it is that he wants to do in the Air Force, but is beginning to think that that is where he would like to go after high school is complete. While the idea of him being in the military, especially now with all that is going on in the world, scares the absolute pants off of me, I do think that the structure will be wonderful for him.

He has always craved structure and always done his best when he has someone breathing down his neck. And after reading through the handbook for the program last night, I was both impressed by the rules and structure in the program, as well as worried sick that it will just be too much for him to handle, and make him crack under the pressure. I do, however, love the idea of him being able to have a small taste of what the military would be like, without having to actually be in the military. If it just isn't for him, I would rather know now than when he is an adult who has signed up and realized after the fact that he has made a mistake. The program offers many perks, and can help to get him into college with little to no payment on our part, as well as teaching him how to discipline himself, which he desperately needs more help in.

I must say that at the end of the last school year, when he brought home his mountain of paperwork for us to sit through and help him pick out classes, I was not a fan of him joining this program. But now I am optimistic that the structure will help him tremendously, as well as help to teach him how to be a team player. He has the leader role down just fine, it is working with others in a constructive way that he has trouble with, and if he can stick this program out, I think he will do just fine in that area!

For many children who had an unstable upbringing, structure equals security. Structure is safe for them, there are no surprises and they know exactly what to expect at all times. The predictability of a routine helps to sooth them and drop their anxiety level. For a time when my adopted stepson was younger we actually had a schedule on the refrigerator that mapped out his entire day, even down to his free time. It didn't specify what he had to do in his free time, but just knowing that from four to five in the evening was his to relax, and that we would eat dinner at six was enough for him to relax. He always knew what was coming next in his day, and that was extremely comforting for him, and AFROTC will do the same for him while he is at school. Making a structured environment for children who have a hard time adjusting to change, or are fearful in general with a very small comfort zone, can help to reduce their anxiety greatly. If a child is constantly worried about what is going to happen next, he or she will never be able to focus on the here and now. Structuring the environment and allowing them to know exactly what is going to happen that day, can help to ease the child's fears enough for him or her to focus on what is going on now, instead of being in constant fear of what could happen next.


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