Comments on: Should I Serve The Petition Personally? http://stepparent.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/should-i-serve-the-petition-personally Covering stepparent adoption, step child adoption, non-custodial parents, consent, Terminating Parental Rights, behavioral and parenting issues relating to Stepparent Adoption. Tue, 09 Mar 2010 19:13:38 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: John http://stepparent.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/should-i-serve-the-petition-personally/comment-page-1#comment-204 John Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:57:24 +0000 http://stepparent-a.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/01/28/should-i-serve-the-petition-personally#comment-204 Years ago I did a service for a landlord tenant issue. My tenant was Mr. Placid, or so I thought. It was not only uncomfortable, it was also unsafe. Yes, I was trying not to pay for a server, never did that again. I understand that you may be trying to communicate with someone who will not respond, but that is the person most likley to become enraged when their scheme not only doesn't work, but now they are going to court. It can be scary to have one of these go bad. John Years ago I did a service for a landlord tenant issue. My tenant was Mr. Placid, or so I thought. It was not only uncomfortable, it was also unsafe. Yes, I was trying not to pay for a server, never did that again. I understand that you may be trying to communicate with someone who will not respond, but that is the person most likley to become enraged when their scheme not only doesn’t work, but now they are going to court. It can be scary to have one of these go bad. John

]]> By: Julie Crowley http://stepparent.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/should-i-serve-the-petition-personally/comment-page-1#comment-203 Julie Crowley Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:08:49 +0000 http://stepparent-a.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/01/28/should-i-serve-the-petition-personally#comment-203 Yes family court allows for you to serve papers for many different cases, including divorce.<br /> <br /> Some noncustodial parents are very willing to sign, so bringing the papers over by hand for them to sign and return makes sense all the way around. <br /> <br /> In the instance where I spoke of a noncustodial parent finding out about the adoption for the first time through service, I was speaking about those particular parents whom refuse to make contact with either the child nor the custodial parent. The custodial parent may have tried to contact the noncustodial parent several times and received no response, therefore the noncustodial parent is caught off guard not because of being attacked, but because of their refusal to communicate.<br /> <br /> I agree that the laws need to be changed. There are those out there who manipulate the system to get what they want. The petitioner does have to prove the noncustodial parent unfit, which is why contested stepparent adoptions can drag through the court systems as both sides argue. Yes family court allows for you to serve papers for many different cases, including divorce.

Some noncustodial parents are very willing to sign, so bringing the papers over by hand for them to sign and return makes sense all the way around.

In the instance where I spoke of a noncustodial parent finding out about the adoption for the first time through service, I was speaking about those particular parents whom refuse to make contact with either the child nor the custodial parent. The custodial parent may have tried to contact the noncustodial parent several times and received no response, therefore the noncustodial parent is caught off guard not because of being attacked, but because of their refusal to communicate.

I agree that the laws need to be changed. There are those out there who manipulate the system to get what they want. The petitioner does have to prove the noncustodial parent unfit, which is why contested stepparent adoptions can drag through the court systems as both sides argue.

]]> By: John http://stepparent.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/should-i-serve-the-petition-personally/comment-page-1#comment-202 John Tue, 29 Jan 2008 18:39:27 +0000 http://stepparent-a.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/01/28/should-i-serve-the-petition-personally#comment-202 I am amazed that any state allows the planitff to serve, the obvious result may be a court date where the defendant shows up claiming he wasn't served, or that there was some defect in the service. A process server has credibility with the court and eliminates this type of game playing. <br /> <br /> If the defendant is just finding out for the first time that the plan is to dump him (and yes, from his perspective that is what it would be), it is daft to think that he is likely to accept this calmly and rationaly. Would you?<br /> <br /> Kids do need homes that are as normal as possible, but it is not the right of the custodial parent or step parent to remove the other parent because it makes their life simpler or easier. Yes, there are parents who are not part of the child's life and have no intention of changing. There are also parents who don't get along with their ex, but still have some invovlement with the child. <br /> <br /> It is discouraging that the law seems to allow such an easy process to get rid of the parent the ex doesn't want. Surely there should be required independant reports to the court, and not just accusations of the ex. It should be the petitioner who has to prove the case, not the non-custodial parent who must disprove the ex's claims. This sure seems to be messed up. John<br /> I am amazed that any state allows the planitff to serve, the obvious result may be a court date where the defendant shows up claiming he wasn’t served, or that there was some defect in the service. A process server has credibility with the court and eliminates this type of game playing.

If the defendant is just finding out for the first time that the plan is to dump him (and yes, from his perspective that is what it would be), it is daft to think that he is likely to accept this calmly and rationaly. Would you?

Kids do need homes that are as normal as possible, but it is not the right of the custodial parent or step parent to remove the other parent because it makes their life simpler or easier. Yes, there are parents who are not part of the child’s life and have no intention of changing. There are also parents who don’t get along with their ex, but still have some invovlement with the child.

It is discouraging that the law seems to allow such an easy process to get rid of the parent the ex doesn’t want. Surely there should be required independant reports to the court, and not just accusations of the ex. It should be the petitioner who has to prove the case, not the non-custodial parent who must disprove the ex’s claims. This sure seems to be messed up. John

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