Low self-esteem is a common trait among children who have suffered trauma during their childhood. Children tend to blame themselves for the things in life that are out of their control; such as a parent choosing to give up his or her parental rights, and allow a stepparent adoption, or having a parent choose drugs, alcohol, or an unstable lifestyle over parenting their child. Children do not know the powers of drug addiction, or the daily struggles of adult life, they only know that they have been abandoned and feel that had they been a better child in one way or another, their absent parent would have chosen them over whatever it was that stood in the way of their parenting ability.

Children with low self-esteem tend to take everything to heart. When they are corrected on something that they have done wrong, they do not have the ability to take the criticism and move forward with the knowledge. They are too wrapped up in the fact that they have done something wrong to even notice that there was a lesson to be learned in the incident, making it almost certain that they will repeat the same mistakes time and time again, which only continues the cycle of low self esteem for the child, and the feelings of worthlessness.

Parents can become trapped in this cycle just as easily as their children can. They do not see the low self-esteem issues as a cause for the child’s almost constant mistakes, instead they see a child who is refusing to learn the rules and adhere to them. As stated above, it isn’t that the child is refusing to learn the rules, and the lessons; the child is too focused on the fact that they continue to make mistakes and make others angry to see anything beyond that. So how do parents help their children to gain self-esteem, and begin to learn the lessons from their mistakes, instead of focusing solely on the fact that they make mistakes in daily life?

Admit when you make a mistake. Make it a point to announce when you have made a mistake. Show the child that everyone, even an adult, makes mistakes here and there, and that is isn’t the end of the world when it happens. When you pick yourself up from a mistake, point out what you are going to do next time to avoid the same situation and move on, the child will learn by observation how to properly handle their own mistakes in life.

Let the little stuff go. This is a very important one, often referred to as ‘picking your battles,’ or the more common phrase of ‘don’t cry over spilled milk.’ Dealing with mistakes and cleaning up messes are annoying, but it's certainly not the end of the world. Showing your child how to let the little things go, will help to prepare them on how to gauge what is worth getting their feathers ruffled over and what is just one of those little annoyances that happen in day to day life.

Praise your child. Catch your child doing something good, and let them know that you are pleased with how they are handling themselves or the situation that they are in. You don’t have to go overboard and make a huge production out of it, just let them know that they made the right choice and that you are proud of them for it.

Laugh it off. Find the humor in life, and in the mistakes that your child makes. Nothing shows a child that a mistake, mishap, or wrongdoing is not the end of the world more than laughter. When you walk into a room only to find the wall decorated in ketchup you could scream your head off, or you can laugh at how terrible ketchup is as a wall covering. You can always explain why painting walls with ketchup is not a good idea while it is being scrubbed off the walls, however many children instantly get why putting it on the wall is not a good idea almost instantly when they are handed a sponge with a smile and a gentle nudge towards said wall.

There are plenty of little moments in everyday life that give the opportunity for parents to boost their child’s self esteem and self worth, the trick is not only learning to recognize these moments, but to seize them! Don’t let your anger from the moment take away from the big picture; which is raising a healthy, well adjusted, emotionally secure child who will be well equipped to handle what life will throw at them as an adult.

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