The kids have been in school for three days now, and for three days I have been absolutely lost. I have roamed around the house rather aimlessly trying to figure out how to structure both my time and my day, without having any kids around. The house is quiet, terribly, horrifically, quiet. Every attempt at leaving the house has left me feeling as though I have forgotten something, simply because I am not used to leaving the house all by lonesome.

The children on the upside, are adjusting quite well to school. My adopted stepson has had no complaints thus far, and the little guy is enjoying school for the most part, but is still having a little bit of a hard time being gone from me for six hours out of the day. Interestingly enough whenever either one of the boys has had a bad day at school, my day as well tends to run horribly, as if we are in sync on an emotional level. I couldn't seem to focus or get a thing done today, and felt rather 'blah' all day long until the kids came home. I couldn't figure out what the issue was with me until I picked up my youngest who cried in the car for most of the way home because he had missed me all day long and had just had a bad day all around.

He has since perked up, and my adopted stepson, after finishing his chores has decided that a nice long nap is just what his growing body needs again this afternoon and has retreated to his room after completing his chores and having his snack. Both children have made the transition from summer break to school amazingly well, it seems that Mom is the only one who is having a hard time with the fact that they have both grown up so much.

I have spoken to several friends and family members, gathering support from those who have young children going into school for the first time, those whom have had children in high school, and pretty much anyone with an ear in order to get through this big change in life. Never in a million years would I have expected to have such a strong response and sense of loss with this school year, but alas, I have and now need to find a constructive way to work through it. Working from home, and being a stay at home mom has given me such a wonderful opportunity to grow close with my children, and letting them go off to school has become increasingly harder throughout the years. As my adopted stepson has grown older he has become quite a great kid, if I do say so myself... and someone who is fun to be around, and sending him off to school all day long is just not as attractive as it was when he was having so many behavior and emotional issues in the past.

Of course with them being gone for the day it will give me the opportunity... eventually when I get used to all this freedom, to go out and live a little. I will be able to have lunch with friends, get shopping and chores done without kids underfoot which I am sure will be nice. I did get a sense of satisfaction yesterday after being able to mop the entire upstairs quite quickly and let it dry without anyone stepping through it, but other than that my adjustment to this new situation has been slow. It is funny that as parents we do so much to help to prepare our children for school, but forget to prepare ourselves for the change. If your children have yet to start school, don't forget to prepare yourself for the adjustment of the kids being gone, just as you are preparing them for being at school all day and away from home.

Surely I am not the only parent out there who forgot to pump herself up for this big change, and is having a hard time dealing with not only the little guy starting school, but how grown my adopted stepson is, and how little help he needs from his mommy...am I?


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