Adoption is something that my family has always had an interest in. Before my husband and I got married, we discussed adoption and it was a great relief to discover that both of us were interested in adding children to our family through adoption. We both had an interest in adopting through the foster care system, and have taken our time researching both adoption and the foster care system throughout the years in order to be as prepared as possible for such a large life change. Anyone who knows me will let you know, very quickly I would imagine, that I am not one to jump into anything and probably the slowest decision maker on the planet...I say probably because I haven't quite decided yet.

When we first began discussing adding another child to our family through adoption, my adopted stepson was adamantly against the idea. He did not want another child in the house, he did not want to share his toys, the television, his parents...he just wasn't having it. Knowing that adding another child to the family in this manner affects the entire family, and should be a family decision we held off and simply continued our research. Our youngest, not yet able to understand the gravity adoption and adding another member to the family forever, is excited about the idea of a new sibling, and has requested two sisters several times. He is smart enough to realize that girls play with different toys and he will not have to share nearly as much of his stuff, if his new siblings are girls instead of boys.

To my utter amazement the last time that I brought up adding a sibling to our family, my adopted stepson was very interested in the idea this time around, and actively involved in the conversation, instead of just giving me 'that look.' He spoke of his own turmoil growing up, the pain and anger that he felt over being abandoned by his own mother, and how having a sibling his age (okay we were thinking younger than that, but he is gunning for someone closer to his own age) would be fun, and that it would make him feel good to be able to help another kid who was going through some of the things that he went through. I was floored! The child who could not be reached, who put up walls, road blocks, barbed wire, and snipers around every emotion that he had, now has opened up and not only allowed others to reach his emotions, but he is interested in reaching out to others, and helping to heal their pain, a pain that he knows all too well.

Just as I was getting ready to pick my jaw up off the floor of the car, he added that he wouldn't mind sharing his room, and would share his computer as well, as long as it still stayed 'his' computer. My jaw went right back to the floor, as I drove completely speechless..and what I lack in decision making I make up for ten fold in my verbal ability! This was a complete one eighty from his previous stance on having a sibling. He apparently had thought about it and thought it might be fun to have a roommate, and if not he would be leaving for college in a few years anyway. Once he realized that he would have to have a roommate in college, having one at home didn't seem so bad, and actually was thought of as good practice on how to get along with someone in such small quarters without killing each other. He figured if it started at home, he would have us (his parents) there to help him adjust to sharing a room and learn all of the social rules that go along with it before being thrust into it in college.

So once again my son has left me in awe over how much he has grown, matured, and how much insight he has gathered over these past few years. Not only has he been able to turn himself around...with a little help from mom and dad, but he has the desire to help others who are hurting as well. He just finally 'gets it.' All of a sudden everything that we have tried to drill into his head for years simply clicked. I have no idea why or how, but I can tell you that I am on cloud nine over what an incredible young man he is turning into!


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