One of the things that I like to do every so often when I crawl into bed at night, is to think about how far my adopted stepson has come in so many areas. He was so far behind his peers when it came to his social, communication, and emotional skills, that the daily interactions of life were a chore for him. Add that to all of the tremendous emotional issues and stress that he had going on in his young life, and the fact that he was functioning at all is quite an amazement.

At least, looking back on things it is an amazement, but at the time, as we were dealing with issue after issue and struggle after struggle nothing about life seemed amazing, besides the fact that I managed to somehow avoid having a nervous breakdown from all of the stress! Not only do I enjoy looking back on all of the struggles that we have had when things are going well and I am lying in bed and thinking of how wonderful both of my boys are in every way possible, but I like to remind myself to look back on what we have already gone through when things are not all that rosy in the present.

When I find myself getting frustrated with my adopted stepson over a particular behavior, I take some time to think about all of the stuff that I used to have to deal with, that are no longer an issue because my adopted stepson has worked hard over the years to correct his negative behaviors and express himself in productive ways. Looking back on all of the things that I no longer have to deal with helps to calm my frustrations, and give me a good reminder of how far our family has come along, and that we have overcome so much that it is more likely than not that we will overcome the present issues as well.

We can become so stuck in present issues that they can seem huge and overwhelming, a daunting and never ending list of tasks, troubles, and tears, yet when we take the time to revisit all of the things that we, both as individuals and as a family unit, have already successfully fought and overcome, it can help to put the current situations we are currently facing into a better perspective. Reminding yourself of what you have already been through, is a great way of reminding yourself of how strong you, and your family are, and that if you have successfully navigated yourself through so much in the past, you will be able too, to navigate through the current unpleasantness of life.