Many times in a hopeful stepparent adoption scenario, one of the biological parents, for one reason or another, is no longer in the picture. Sometimes they opted to be absent from birth, and in other cases contact was somehow lost along the way. While this can be a relief for the parent whom is raising the child, in some instances, when it comes time for remarriage and the idea of a stepparent adoption to provide the child with a stable and complete family, the remaining biological parent is left scratching his or her head when it comes to how to proceed with a stepparent adoption, when the other parent is no where to be found in order to give consent to the adoption.

There are several different avenues that can be used in the attempt to locate a biological parent. Of course one could always hire a private investigator to do all the footwork and hunt down the parent whom seemingly does not wish to be found, but few families in this day and age have the resources for this. When this is the case we often find ourselves becoming the private investigator, hunting around for clues as to where the parent has disappeared

If there is still contact with the absent parent’s family there is hope that someone in the family knows where the biological parent is and can offer an email address, phone number, or even physical address for the absentee parent. Or they may simply offer to act as a ‘go-between’ for the two parties if the absentee parent truly wishes to stay out of the picture. Family members can be a wonderful resource when trying to locate the absent parent, as well as for the child to have a connection to his or her blood relatives, providing that they are a positive influence on the child’s life.

If family members are not an option do not fret, as there are still many other ways to try to find the other parent. If there is a last known address for the missing parent, try asking the Post Office for a forwarding address. There is a simple form that can be obtained at the front desk, which takes minutes to fill out. If an address is found a post card will be mailed to the requesting party with the new address on it. In some cases a small fee is required for the service, but well worth it if one is then able to proceed with the stepparent adoption.

There are many free websites such as Anywho.com, which are very user friendly, and allow you to search in many different ways for people. Websites such as Classmates.com are also a good resource if you know the name of the absent parents high school, and or college. Many people keep updated information on these sites in order to stay in contact with old friends. Classmates.com lets you see a small amount of personal information for free, and more information, such as email addresses for a small fee.

Contacting, and asking old mutual friends whom you may have lost contact with, but the other parent may not have, if they know the whereabouts of the absentee parent may prove to be fruitful, and most people are more than willing to help when they hear of the reasons for the needed contact.
A call to directory assistance can provide a phone number if you have an idea of what state the absent parent may be in, however as cell phones become more popular many people are dropping their LAN lines in favor of having one direct line, and one bill, so this may not be as easy of a find as one might think.

If, after diligent effort on the part of the remaining parent and stepparent, the absent biological parent cannot be found, a stepparent adoption is still possible and can still take place. A public notice can be published in the paper for a fair amount of money. The notice has to run for a minimum of thirty days, giving the absent parent ample time to see the notice and respond. If, after the time limit no one has responded to the notice, the courts will allow the adoption process to continue, seeing the lack of response as the absent parents consent for the adoption to continue, after all the opposite of contesting (i.e. responding to the notice) would be consenting.

It is important for the remaining parent to document his or her efforts in locating the absent biological parent so that he or she can prove to the courts that sufficient effort has been made to locate the absent biological parent, and inform him or her on the intention of the stepparent adoption. Some courts will not accept a petition for a public notice until they have seen evidence proving that the remaining parent has done his or her best to locate the parent. Printing out searches done on the Internet, as well as saving any information that comes back as a negative search result can save the hopeful adoptive family from a lot of headache, and red tape, when it comes time to ask the courts to approve a public notice.