When stepparents do not already have biological children of their own, they are thrust into parenting without the adjustment period of early childhood to get used to all of the really weird things that kids do on a daily basis. Biological parents have the added bonus of growing with the child from day one, getting used to the child, to the stupid (and I mean that lovingly) things that kids do, simply because they are kids, and becoming immune to the little daily annoyances that children cause, because they are still learning all of the rules of life.

Stepparents become instant parents, thrown into the mix and often times have little tolerance for ‘the little stuff’ that kids do, and feel as though the biological parent is much to lenient on the child. While in some cases it may be true that the biological parent is a little lax on the rules, more often than not, it is the stepparent who has yet to adjust to their role as a parent, and how to live with children on a daily basis.

The first thing that stepparents need to do is to relax and remember that kids are going to be kids. They are going to touch things that they are not supposed to, they are going to break rules, they are going to make messes, they are going to be sneaky and try to see what they can get away with, and they are going to throw fits…sometimes for no reason at all.

When you find yourself becoming annoyed with your stepchild’s behavior, stop and think before saying anything. Ask yourself how important the issue is; is it really worth causing a fuss over, or is it simply something that you aren’t used to tuning out yet? Is the child doing something that could result in an injury, or perhaps the breaking of an item? Then yes, the child should be corrected. If the child is merely doing something that is annoying more than anything else, instead of snapping at the child, offer some choices of activities that you would be happy with them doing.

Getting out of the house with your child in a setting where there are other parents and children can be a real eye opener for many stepparents. It is often as amusing as it is comforting to go out and see that you are not the only parent who has to repeat themselves twenty five times before the child actually follows through with the request. Volunteering in the child’s classroom, going on field trips, or just going out to the local park on a nice day are all great opportunities for stepparents to see other parents interacting with their children, as well as how children behave in general at a certain age.

Stepparents are also going to have to take a crash course in the ancient art of tuning out kids. Children are loud, they screech for joy, they scream in anger, they bang toys around, stomp loudly through the house, leave messes absolutely everywhere they grace their presence with, they talk loudly, laugh loudly…pretty much anything that you can name kids can do it louder and much, much messier! They are not little adults, and no amount of yelling or punishment is going to turn them into one. They simply need time to grow up and get used to being, well, civilized.

Eventually stepparents will come to realize that the little annoyances that children cause in daily life, are nothing major, simply a change in life that the adult is not yet used to living with. Just as the children have to adjust to having a new parent around who does things differently than life was done before, the parent must also realize and accept that life is also going to be different than before and he or she too, has some adjustments to make.

Click here for information/instructions on how to subscribe FREE to all of your favorite AdoptionBlogs!