Just as not any mate will do, not every counselor will be the right match for you, or your adopted stepchild. Just as we look for certain qualities in potential mates, and friends, the same must be done when looking for a counselor. If you are not comfortable with your counselor, or your adopted stepchild is not comfortable, then neither will be able to open up, and get true emotions and issues out in order to heal.

Before deciding on one particular counselor, make some phone calls first and do some phone interviews with different counselors. See if you are comfortable talking with the counselor on the phone; perhaps make an office visit to see if you are comfortable in the setting. Some counselors have a very stuffy, professional office, which may be perfect for some, but may make others nervous. Other counselors have toys and games in the office for children to play with while they talk. If you aren’t comfortable visiting several offices, you can ask over the phone what type of setting the office is. Some counselors work out of their homes, which can make many people, especially children, feel much safer, it feels more like visiting a friend, than going to the doctor.

Whatever your comfort zone is, call around to see which counselor matches it best. Also speak with your adopted stepchild, or soon to be adopted stepchild, about what type of counselor he or she would like to see, and if they would prefer a male or a female to talk to, as some children find it easier to open up to one sex more than the other.

Finding a counselor that suites your family, and it’s particular needs, can take some time, but it is important not to give up! Once you find the right counselor, you will truly be able to help your family with guidance from a trusted professional. There are even counselors who specialize in adoption, and adoption related issues. However these can be harder to find than a “run of the mill” counselor. It is important when speaking with the different counselors on the phone to find out what their view on adoption is. There are many people out there that do not agree with adoption at all, and going to a counselor who does not agree with adoption will not help you or your adopted stepchild to heal at all. Counseling can be a very hard and emotional process to go through. It is important not to give up, even when times get tough and emotions are running high. Counseling takes you through all the ugly pain and hurt that is locked up inside. Once all of that is out, you and your adopted stepchild can truly start to form a lasting and loving bond, between the two of you.