My adopted stepson will be turning sixteen at the end of this year. With only a few years left until he is out of the house and off to college, lately my mind has turned to the bond that he has with his little brother, and how I would like it to be stronger before he is out of the house and starting his own life as an adult. While I know that he loves his little brother, they tend to have a hard time getting along.

With such an age gap between the two of them, they both seem to have a hard time understanding that each goes by a different set of rules. We cannot treat a five year old and a fifteen year old the same, and when one gets something age appropriate, the other is often left reeling in the land of unfairness. The older one, of course, thinks that we are way to easy on the little one, and in turn the little one, believes that his older brother gets to do cooler, and better things, such as stay up a little later on school nights. Their is only a half and hour difference between their bedtimes on weekdays, but you would think it was an eternity at times.

With each believing that the other is getting special treatment, they have a hard time relaxing with each other, but instead are in constant competition with one another, which as one can imagine, gets quite old, quite quickly. I have been down with a cold this week, and while they have managed to keep their quarreling down to a minimum, it would be nice if they could find something to do with each other besides bicker, and tell one another. Instead of the siblings who will ban together, with the kids against the parents attitude they will sell each other out in a heartbeat over absolutely anything that becomes an issue between the two of them. Instead of each sneaking a cookie and keeping quiet, one will try and the other will go into a tizzy, wanting to know either what horrible punishment should be bestowed upon the thief, or whine immediately wanting to know why one is allowed a cookie and the other is not, unintentionally letting an adult know that the other has just snuck a cookie.

I am sure in time, they will be able to communicate easier with each other, and find things about each other that they enjoy, but for the time being the only thing that they seem to enjoy doing is policing the other. They are fine when we do family activities together...then they actually get along quite well, but if we leave them to their own devices, it is usually a matter of minutes before trouble begins to brew.

Luckily we will be going on a cruise in a few weeks, and both boys have been warned that only 'good boys' get to go, and those who cannot be nice to others are not allowed. This special treat looming in the near distance has helped to keep their behavior in check for the most part, but we would like to find some activities that they can do together that they both enjoy doing, which isn't easy considering one is at the age of thinking cartoons are now 'for babies' and the other a die hard Spongebob Squarepants fan.

Anyone out there who has a large age gap between their children who has some suggestions as to how to get these two guys to spend some time together doing something other than 'shushing,' whining, complaining, competing, fighting, and generally annoying the pants off each other? I'm all ears!