In many cases, when families are seeking to pursue a stepparent adoption, the petitioners are basing their case on the abandonment of the child by the absentee birth parent. But beware, if you are seeking to terminate parental rights on the terms of abandonment, and you are still receiving child support payments from the absent parent, in legal terms the child has not been abandoned. In many states child support is still considered a form of contact, and the courts will not allow a termination of parental rights, for a stepparent adoption under the terms of abandonment, no matter how long it has been since the child has seen the birth parent.

This can be very frustrating for many families who wish to pursue a stepparent adoption. They can often feel stuck and helpless as to how to go forward with a stepparent adoption, when it seems that they are head off at every path they turn, when trying to terminate the rights of an absent, or unfit parent. In situations like this it is very handy to keep a contact and behavior log, which has been explained in a previous article.

Document, and document everything! If you have any contact with the absentee birth parent, send everything certified mail, so that you have proof of everything that you send. Even if the letter is denied by the birth parent, it will be on record if sent certified mail. If you e-mail, print and save every e-mail. Save your phone records, when it comes to documentation every little bit can help build your case against the absentee parent. Getting the child into counseling can also help at this point,both for the mental health of the child, as well as a counselor testifying on your behalf will go a long way in court.

Once you feel that you have sufficient evidence to go to court, you will most likely be looking at a case to prove that the absentee parent unfit to parent the child, rather than the parent abandoning the child, due to still receiving those mandatory child support payments. While proving a parent unfit can be a little bit trickier than an abandonment case, it is not impossible to win, especially with good documentation of how little contact there has been between the child and the absentee parent. The good news is that if the absent parent has no contact with the child, other than mandatory child support payments, he or she may be more than happy to sign over his or her parental rights to the child, freeing up that money for themselves, rather than spend more money in court to fight for a child he or she has seemingly no interest in keeping in contact with. So while child support may hinder your case for abandonment charges, it also just may save the day, and the case, if the absent parent gets hit the hardest when it comes to the wallet. Sadly, many absent parents would rather keep the money, than keep the child.