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Since he was nine, I have written little love notes to my adopted stepson. He has always had problems with self-esteem, as well as feeling accepted in any sort of family setting. I had special markers, stickers, and even scrapbook paper that I used only for his notes. The fact that I had so many little things that were reserved solely for letting him know how much I loved him, made him swell with pride.
As he grew older I stopped decorating the letters with stickers; he became a little self-conscience about having letters adorned with stickers from his mom around his room, which was understandable. I also, as time went on let the special stamping markers go, and reserved the colored scrapbook paper only for special occasions. But the important thing is that even though the appearance of the short love notes, or long letters changed, they never stopped being written.
The notes actually became a good way to judge how emotionally close he was feeling towards me, if he was trying to push me away and put distance between us, I would soon find the note lying in the trashcan. While it was disheartening to find the letter that I had put so much love and thought into in the trash, I knew that he had read it, and even though he chose not to save the paper, what I had written would always remain in his memory.
When he is feeling secure with himself and our relationship the notes do not go anywhere near the trash. They are either scattered about his room, or left in the same place that they were left for him to find, so that he can see it again the next day. His room is littered with cards and letters from different family members, he enjoys the constant reminders that he is loved and accepted in his family.
The last love note that I wrote him was placed underneath his medicine, so that he would find it in the morning and have a little pick me up to start his day with. Each morning since it has remained there, a tad askew than it was the night before, as he continues to read it before heading out the door for school.
As an adult, I still enjoy receiving notes and cards for no special reason from my husband. Who doesn’t enjoy a little note reminding them that they are loved and special in someone else’s eyes? Our children may grow up, but they will never grow out of love notes, even if they do not want to admit it, even if they refuse to smile on the outside, they will always smile on the inside and remember the words that were written just for them.
