e-mail
With a stunted emotional maturity level my adopted stepson has never really been able to maintain a friendship with another child his age. He could interact with children younger than himself, as well as with adults, but with children his own age friendships usually lasted about a week before going sour.
This year is the first time in his fifteen years of life that he has had an age appropriate friend. They get along wonderfully, have a blast together and are having their first sleep over tonight. They have been talking on the phone almost daily, both already getting bored with their long summer days at home.
When children are traumatized, it is common for them to become emotionally stunted. It has taken my adopted stepson a long time to catch up to his peers emotionally. The last friendship that he was able to maintain was with a boy who is three years younger than he is, now he is able to get along with a boy who is only about a year younger than himself.
Once he had gotten to a point where he was able to let go of the anger that he had inside over being abandoned by his mother, he was able to begin growing again emotionally. While he still has a little ways to go before he has caught up completely to his peers, he has made a lot of progress throughout the years, this past year especially.
If your child is lagging behind their peers emotionally, getting them into counseling is a wonderful way to help them work through whatever issues there are which are holding them back from growing and reaching their full emotional potential. Talking about emotions, and being sure to identify the emotions that the two of you are experiencing at the moment such as; I am angry with you right now because, or I am very pleased with you because, verbalizing the name of the emotion can help children to make a conscious connection between how they are feeling and what they are doing is also a good way to help children catch up to their peers.
Good post.
My six year old daughter plays with all ages – mainly younger. She enjoys teenagers as well. She does struggle with kids her own age – she starts playing but then loses interest.