When a new baby comes into the family quite a fuss is always raised about the new addition to the family. Everyone wants to see the baby, everyone wants to hold the baby, and everyone wants to hear about the baby, often leaving the older sibling(s) feeling left out and jealous towards their new little brother or sister. While it is certainly normal to expect everyone to want to dote over the new baby, it is important for everyone to remember to give the older sibling some extra love, praise, and attention as he or she learns how to share attention with their new sibling.

When visitors come over and begin making a fuss over the baby, be sure to include the older child in the conversation. Let others know what a big help the older child has been with the new baby, and how proud you are of him or her for being such a great big brother or sister. Even if the child is still resistant to the idea of having a new sibling in the house, and hasn’t done much in the way of being a big help, or even a big sibling it will help to reassure the child that he or she is still being thought about, and is still appreciated, plus getting praise for being a big help usually leads most children to putting some effort into being helpful (even if it is only while others are there to witness their greatness) in order to receive more praise.

Parents should also make it a point to spend some one on one time with the older sibling. When the baby is napping, it gives the parent and older child some free time to hang out together, talk, watch TV, or play a game without the parent having to divert any attention away to the baby for feedings diaper changes or tears being shed. Bedtime is also a great time for some one on one attention. One parent can watch the baby while the other parent tends to the older child, and then the two can switch. This gives both parents time to spend some quality time with each child before putting them to bed for the night. Once there is more than once child in the house it is important for parents to learn how to effectively divide and conquer in a manner such as this so that one parent is not constantly trying to keep up with two children, which will quickly lead to parental burn out.

Take up on one of those offers to watch the new baby! Once a new baby comes home from the hospital family and friends usually begin volunteering to baby-sit, after all who can really resist a newborn baby? Don’t be afraid to take people up on all of those free babysitting offers, not only are they a wonderful chance for mom and dad to get some time to recharge their batteries and have some down time away from the baby, but they also allow time for both parents to spend with their older child. Seeing that the child will still have times where he or she can have both parents to his or herself will also help the child adjust to his or her new sibling. Children are scared of the unknown, and once the begin to see that not everything in their life will change, and that they are still a loved and valued member of the family the shock and resistance to a new sibling should fade over time.


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