When young children are acting up and need some time to sit and think about their behavior and actions, parents often plop them into a time out. For those who are unfamiliar with the time out process, it is placing a child in one designated spot, usually a chair set aside somewhere away from distractions, yet still near the parent so that he or she can still keep an eye on the child, and the child sits in said chair usually on a minute to year ratio; meaning that if the child is five years... more

Sometimes in an adoptive stepparent situation, it can be hard for the biological parent to let the adoptive stepparent actually be a parent to the child. Used to being the only one to parent the child, the biological parent may undermine the adoptive stepparent, without meaning to. In other cases, the biological parents have an extremely close relationship with their child, or children from being alone together for a significant amount of time. This can lead the biological parent to become overprotective of the child, or children, feeling as though only... more

Almost every parent of a toddler has experienced the frustration of dealing with a child throwing a floor-thumping, hair-pulling temper tantrum. Even though this can be embarrassing and challenging for parents, this is normal behavior for most young children.

Why do they do it? Toddlers are not yet able to use words to express their feelings and emotions. When they are tired, frustrated, or angry and unable to express themselves with words, they may throw a temper tantrum. Some children throw tantrums because their emotions run out of control, and they aren't... more

In a recent article, I wrote about the importance of sharing the discipline of the child or children in the home, equally among the parents. Here is a link for those who missed Part One. Before we go ahead and dive right into the second half of the article, I thought I would recap, with the last paragraph of Part One of Sharing the Discipline Equally

But simply getting both parents to take an active role when it comes to the disciplining of the child,... more

When it comes to parenting, it is more often than not, that one parent has the burden of doing more than his or her fair share of the discipline, when it comes to the child or children in the home. Many times this is simply due to one parent being at home with the children more than the other parent. And while the numbers of stay at home fathers are on an incline, more often than not it is the mother of the family who is at home with the children more, and who ends up having to do a lot more of the discipline and consequence giving when it comes to the children.

This... more

Often times when it comes to parenting, punishments are dished out to children, not so much to teach them a lesson, but more for the parent feel justified, and, or vindicated. Unfortunately many parents punish their child, or children, while still angry, coming down harder on the child, than they would if they had taken the time to calm down and think about the entire situation, BEFORE deciding on what the child’s fate should be.

There is a large difference between punishing a child, and giving a child an appropriate consequence... more

In a previous post I had talked about the usefulness of positive reinforcement, when it comes to parenting emotionally damaged children. Well, in weeks past, I have also written of my adopted stepson, and how far he has come, as well as all the recent awards and trips he has won for academic excellence.

Well you if want to talk about some positive reinforcement! My parents watched both my boys for me, overnight, Saturday night, so that my husband and I could go out to the theatre and then spend the night in town at a hotel, to celebrate my husband’s birthday.... more

I discussed in an earlier article, about using positive reinforcement and natural consequences with emotionally damaged children. But for some parents, the term “natural consequence” leaves them feeling a little confused as to exactly what is that term means.

The basic concept of a natural consequence is to really to step back and let nature take its course. If the child is supposed to do laundry in order to be able to have clean clothes for a special event on the weekend,... more

Many children who were adopted at an older age often have very low self-esteem, stemming from their abandonment issues that they have with either one or both birth parents. They often feel as though they are bad, unlovable, and constantly in the way. Blaming themselves for no longer being with their birth parents, they hold a horrible self-image of themselves.

Punishing an older adopted child can reinforce their self-image of being bad. If their behavior is always focused on as bad, the child will perceive him or herself as such. When a parent is constantly harping... more

Many children who have been adopted at an older age can carry with them an extraordinary amount of emotional issues and baggage. Dealing with the adopted child’s emotional, and or behavioral issues can become an all-consuming job, sucking the life, fun, and energy out of the family.

In a stepparent adoption situation, the child may try to play one parent against the other. Pitting the adoptive stepparent and the biological parent against one and other. Many children with emotional and behavioral issues try, and all too often succeed, with using the divide... more