When dealing with adoption, there is almost an entire language that goes along with the whole process. Learning proper adoption terminology is crucial for the emotional heath for all of those involved in the stepparent adoption. While there is no one magic set of terms that absolutely every side of the adoption triad agrees on, there is a general acceptance of most of the terms. If anyone finds any of the terms that will be listed here offensive, that was not the intent of them being included into the article, they are included simply because they are the most... more

When people find out that I adopted my husband’s son from a previous marriage, they are often taken off guard, and seem to react as though I am some kind of saint for doing such an act as to ‘take on someone else’s problem.’ It is as interesting, as it is saddening that so many view the adoption of older children in such a negative light, but it would also account for the large numbers of children who continue to wait in the foster care system for a family to call their own.

So many view the adoption of older children as saintly, while knowing so little... more

Adoption is an emotional process, no matter what form of adoption it is. Be it, international, trans-racial/cultural, infant, or foster adopt, each one comes with it’s own set of problems, fears, worries, and bumps along the way, that no one else seems to be experiencing, or able to relate with you about.

If this is how you have been feeling, than it is time for you to reach out, for comfort and advice from those who are dealing with the same issues as you are. Your family may be extremely supportive of your adoption, but might not just ‘get’ why a dossier,... more

Adoption is a life long commitment. It does not end when the child is old enough to leave the home, and begin his or her independent life, adoption is forever, but unfortunately around half of all marriages are not. With such a high divorce rate, it is important for a stepparent to think long and hard, and really consider what adoption truly means. Some stepparents may take a hard look at themselves, as well as their families, and decide to put off the adoption, or perhaps cancel the idea altogether. It is not a decision to be taken lightly.

When thinking about... more

While doing some research on the Internet this evening, I came across a wonderful article that I simply had to share. The article is from the Stepfamily Association of America. The Association has a very informative and easy to use website, I will be sure to put a link at the bottom of the page so that others may check out the rest of the website. This particular article, on the website, discusses the research findings on a few different studies done on stepparent adoption, as well as the motives behind stepparent adoptions.

The article also states, what I have found... more

Just because you have a counselor for you or your child, does not necessarily mean that you have the RIGHT counselor for you or your child. I have explained in a previous post how to pick out a good counselor, but many people are afraid to switch counselors, once they get one.

When going through counseling, some people find themselves wondering, is this working, my child doesn’t seem to be getting any better, I don’t feel better, what am I doing wrong? If you have given... more

Why is stepparent adoption, the most common form of adoption? Why is it that so many parents just simply give up on the children that they created, and in many cases parented for a significant amount of time?

Besides writing for this blog, I also run a stepparent support group. Time and time again I hear stories of frustrated parents doing everything that they can to see a child, who is being withheld, or being used as a tool against the non-custodial parent. And on the other side of the issue, time and time again, I see parents who just simply give up. Who... more

After all the initial buzz of the completion of a stepparent adoption begins to slows down, and fade into the background of daily life, there are yet more decisions that need to be made for the future relating to the adoption. One of the first things that the parents need to consider, is if the family wants to celebrate the anniversary of the adoption, year after year. Making the anniversary almost like a special family holiday, or a family birthday, symbolizing the day that the family became whole.

While the parents may be on board with the idea of celebrating,... more

The adoption of your stepchild should be a very joyous occasion for your entire family. After all the paperwork, waiting, footwork, and more waiting, what better way to let all of your family, and friends know that your stepparent adoption journey is finally complete, by sending out a customized adoption announcement, to each and everyone of your loved ones! Sending out an adoption announcement not only lets your family and friends know that the stepparent adoption is finally complete, but it also lets the adopted stepchild know how important his or her adoption is to... more

Just as not any mate will do, not every counselor will be the right match for you, or your adopted stepchild. Just as we look for certain qualities in potential mates, and friends, the same must be done when looking for a counselor. If you are not comfortable with your counselor, or your adopted stepchild is not comfortable, then neither will be able to open up, and get true emotions and issues out in order to heal.

Before deciding on one particular counselor, make some phone calls first and do some phone interviews with different counselors. See if you are comfortable... more