As adoptive stepparent we deal with a lot of our own emotions surrounding the child’s absent parent, the child, our relationship with the child, and adoption itself. We also know that our adopted stepchildren deal with their own emotions surrounding the same issues, and that adoption touches their lives as deeply, if not more, than it touches our own. We, as adults, can understand and process more about adoption, where as the children really have limited understanding... more

That is what I feel like shouting from the mountain tops today. With five or six snow days under our belt, and it either being too cold, or too icy to go outside and actually get some enjoyment out of this wretched weather, the kids are tired of being cooped up in the house, they are tired of one and other, and are at each others throats almost every second of the day.

If it isn’t one picking on the other, it is the other getting revenge for an earlier tiff, and mommy is very, very tired of play referee to the entire ordeal! Pressure... more

With the large age gap between our two boys, one would think that they would get along well. One would assume that with the oldest boy being fifteen, and the youngest being four, that they would either be able to find a few things to do together, or that they would ignore one and other for the most part not being able to find common ground. Now we have many days where the boys do not play a lot with one and other, yet there are other days where all they do is fight with each other over absolutely... more

My adopted stepson, now fifteen, for many reasons has a hard time with keeping up with his personal hygiene. Part due to emotional issues, and part of it simply being a teenaged boy, he is often in need of reminding when it comes to things like brushing his hair, or putting on deodorant, so that no one is the house is smelled before they are seen! With teen boys having quite a unique odor all their own, the constant reminders of him needing body spray, or deodorant were really beginning to run... more

When children have been abandoned by a birth parent, they are going to have deep emotional wounds and scars that are not going to be easily healed. While some children heal faster than others, and accept a newly adoptive stepparent as their new parent, other children are going to need more time, and may not rejoice over a stepparent adoption being completed. And there are still other children, children whom have been so hurt and so wounded by the rejection of their birthparent, that they may never allow... more

Most children have baby books. When children are born parents happily write down accomplishments, milestones, doctor visits, and thoughts about their children and their love for them. In many stepparent adoption situations, both birth parents were, at one time involved in the child’s life, and it was only have the divorce, or dissolution of the relationship between the biological parents did one parent step out of the child’s life.

If you are lucky enough to have the child’s baby book,... more

With about eleven years between us, and myself being considered young for a parent, friends and sometimes family often find themselves stumbling for an explanation when introducing me to those whom have already met my adoptive stepson. While I believe they are trying to save me the hassle, or perhaps embarrassment of either trying to explain the situation, or feeling as though they are relieving me of being judged harshly once people do the math and come to the conclusion that I would... more

Time outs are a great tool to use when children need some time to themselves to calm down after working themselves into a tantrum, for misbehaving, or for avoiding a tantrum by giving them some alone time before they blow a gasket. But time outs can also come in handy when a parent needs a little quiet time of their own.

Every once and a while, I put my husband on a time out from the kids. I know it sounds funny at first, but I will explain why he absolutely loves it when this happens. I am a stay at home mom, so the kids and I get... more

I received this link from an adoption news listing that I belong to from about.com. With it now being December, and many of us looking at bad weather either currently, or in the near forecast, I thought that it may be wise to pass this information along to other adoptive families out there, that are inevitably going to have snow days, with bored children whom are simply aching for something to do. The page include sixteen different activities that parents can do along with their children,... more

Video games. That’s right, my adopted stepson seems to be addicted to video games. What was once a harmless pass time, has become an all consuming, life squishing addiction. While addiction does run in his biological history, we were more concerned with educating him on the dangers of drugs and alcohol, never in our wildest dreams would we have thought that sitting in his room, on his computer would become a danger to him.

With so much of his childhood being unstable and chaotic, my adopted stepson has had a lot of control issues. He grew up feeling... more