Many stepparents go into a stepparent adoption believing that once the adoption occurs, once the stepparent and stepchild are legally parent and child, their relationship with magically change into a completely harmonious one. These stepparents couldn’t be more wrong if they tried! A stepparent adoption does nothing more than change the legal relationship between the parent and child, it is the actions of the parent which will change the relationship between the two, both before and after the stepparent adoption occurs.

When a stepparent adoption is done truly in the best interest of the child, there will undoubtedly still be issues for the child to work through, but the family as... more

There is a fairly wide agreement in the adoption community that open adoption is the best (to date) type of adoption, especially in domestic infant adoptions. The general feeling is that in an open adoption, the child can grow up knowing all of his or her parents, and speak to their birth parent(s) directly throughout their childhood, about their adoption and all of the issues, emotions, and questions that go along with it.

While open adoption seems to currently be the most preferred type of infant adoption arrangements, the idea is spilling over into... more

Today my wonderful husband not only got off work early, but stopped off at the store and picked up the Apple laptop that I have been pinning over for the last few years, along with the photography software that I have been wanting as well. My adopted stepson overheard the phone call where my husband was excitedly spilling the beans of what he was bringing home for me, and instantly jealousy began to take over my teenager.

Yet instead of the typical childish jealousy... more

When children have been abandoned by one of their birth parents, they are going to be left with a lot of unresolved feelings, anger, hurt, confusion, and etc. leaving them with some degree of anger issues. The children do not know how to express what they are feeling, their world seems to be spinning out of control, and the child is powerless to do anything about it, so they lash out with anger.

These anger issues can manifest themselves in different ways. The children can become ... more

There is a lot of debate in the adoption world over what labels the parents of the child should be called, and both sides have strong issues with just about every label either side has been able to come up with. The term natural parent, to some, implies that the adoptive parents are somehow ‘unnatural’ parents, so that term is offensive. Yet birthparent, especially birthmother, is highly offensive to others making them feel as though they are nothing more than a breeder supplying babies to childless couples. Each side wants a term that recognizes the importance of that set of parents,... more

No, I don’t mean letting your child pick the terms on which he or she will be raised, but rather the terms that he or she will use when referring to his or her birth parents. Adoptive parents usually have a term that they are more comfortable using than others when it comes to what to call the biological parent(s) that are no longer in the child’s life. Birth parents, first parents, natural parents, real parents, and biological parents are the terms that are ... more

It takes a lot to parent a traumatized child. They need more second chances, more reminders, more guidance, more structure, you name it, and they simply require more of it. It can be hard for parents to keep pouring themselves into a child, especially when the child seems to go out of his or her way to make sure that absolutely no progress is seen being made, if its actually being made at all. With traumatized children being... more

With a stunted emotional maturity level my adopted stepson has never really been able to maintain a friendship with another child his age. He could interact with children younger than himself, as well as with adults, but with children his own age friendships usually lasted about a week before going sour.

This year is the first time in his fifteen years of life that he has had an age appropriate friend. They get along wonderfully, have a blast together and are having... more

While most parents are guilty of this behavior at some point or another when it comes to raising their children, buying a child’s affection is rampant in the blended family community. Stepparents, and adoptive stepparents tend to gravitate towards this behavior in an attempt to speed up the bonding process with their new child, feeling... more

Being a parent is a full time job, a very stressful twenty-four hour a day, seven day a week job. Throw in a special needs child, be it mental, physical, or emotional special needs, and the stress level of parenting skyrockets through the roof! With so many extra factors to think about, doctors appointments to make, and issues to deal with either in the aftermath, or doing your best to prevent a disaster, it can all take quite a toll on the individual members of the family, as well as the family unit as a whole. Making sure to... more