Since this is the stepparent adoption blog, I do tend to focus on the relationship between the adoptive stepparent and the adopted stepchild, but it is also important to remember to focus on the relationship and bonding between the adopted stepchild, and his or her remaining biological parent.

Since the adopted stepchild has already suffered the feelings of loss and abandonment when it comes to one of his or her biological parents, the need and desire for them to mesh well with their remaining parent will be strong one. Fears of being abandoned, or rejected by their... more

My adopted stepson is still struggling with getting all of his worked done, and turned in on time, and with the end of the quarter quickly approaching there isn't much time left to get any work turned in that the teachers will still accept. He is getting up there in his teen years, and we are at a point in his little life where we are planning for his future, and poor grades are simply not going to look good on any college application!

He would like to go to college, and even possibly the military, yet seems to be reluctant to do the steps that it takes to achieve either one of those goals. We know... more

Yesterday the first snow fall of the season began to fall, prompting schools to close a few hours early, and myself to just go ahead and pick both of the boys up from school even earlier in an attempt to keep them off of the icy roads before they got too terrible. Both young guys were quite happy to be pulled from school early, beaming from ear to ear as they shot their classmates that 'ha ha I get to go home now and you don't' smile.

I knew that my day was pretty much shot when it came to getting anything that I had planned done once the boys came home, so... more

Nothing gets me gushing and feeling loved like getting a hug, especially a random hug for no reason other than the fact that someone wanted to reach out and wrap their arms around you, and of course two armed hugs are the best. Sure the one arm wrap around is nice, but not nearly as nice as a full on two armed embrace.

My adopted stepson was very uncomfortable with physical contact for the longest time, and hugs were not something that he was comfortable with at all. He finally relented to leaning in with his head, while wrapping one arm around you, but... more

When children have been traumatized by the events that they cannot control in their lives, their first recourse is often to act out as much as possible. With so much chaos going on in their lives, they seek control in any way that they can, making mountains out of molehills and digging their heels in over frivolous matters.

This can be very draining for parents to deal with... more

Yesterday I shared how our family enjoys going to a pumpkin patch each year to pick out our pumpkins for Halloween, and kick off the holiday season with a day of family bonding in the great outdoors. I am sure that some may feel that going to a pumpkin patch might not be for them, if their family is not into carving pumpkins into the traditional scary Jack-o-lanterns that decorate the doorsteps and front yards of those who celebrate Halloween.

There are, however, many other things that you can do with pumpkins, besides carving faces into them. Pumpkins are considered a ... more

Now that we are officially into October, I suppose it is about time to seriously start thinking about the holiday season, and for our family the holiday season begins with Halloween. It used to be that the beginning of fall season signified the downfall of our family. My adopted stepson had so many unresolved emotional issues that the holiday season was simply too much for him to bare, and he would begin to systematically destroy absolutely everything that he could to ensure the terrible,... more

Since my husband is unfortunately working late tonight, it was just the boys and myself for dinner this evening. Not being very hungry after a large salad for a very late lunch, I figured I would make things easy on myself and make macaroni and cheese for dinner for the kids, along with a side of grapes. My five year old helped me get the water ready to boil, while my adopted stepson washed a few dishes, with all of us chatting while we worked.

Once the water was on and the dishes were clean we didn’t waste any time getting down to business. Dad isn’t home which means; we can be as loud and obnoxious as we want! We ran around... more

Both my adopted stepson and myself suffered trauma as children leaving the two of us with a large amount of fear and insecurity when it comes to relationships and ‘letting people in.’ These fears have contributed greatly to the push pull dance that the two of us do when it comes to bonding and getting close with each other. Once things are going well between the two of us, one of us becomes unconsciously freaked inside, and pulls away from the other in an attempt... more

When you come into a child’s life later on, it can be hard to just settle right in and feel like family. There is usually a honeymoon period for most families where everything seems to run smoothly, yet once everyone in the family begins to let guards down and show all of their personality traits, heads can butt, and feeling like a loving family can be a hard thing to accomplish.

We have had our own head butting battles in our family. There have been plenty of time when I felt very close to my adopted stepson, as well as many times... more